Dating With Celebrities
While you might be caught up in cliches or otherwise struggling with online dating, your grandparents are scoring big-time.
Initially considered to be the realm of the desperate and the serial killers, scam artists and losers waiting to meet them, Internet dating is now a mostly socially accepted way of meeting potential partners, especially by 20- and 30-year-olds who grew up with the technology.
Honestly, they had me at “serial killers.” I do have to say that there’s not much of a transition from that rogues’ gallery of what internet dating used to be to it being “socially accepted.” From a research and world trends perspective, I think the jury may still be out. But back to the piece.
But according to experts like online dating coach Laurie Davis, “the over-50 crowd is the largest growing segment” of singles looking for love in cyber space on sites like JDate.com. PlentyofFish.com, Match.com, eHarmony.com and others.
Of course, this is probably known by women who are internet dating in their 30s. (Men in their 30s and 40s are typically chillin’ with the 20-something ladies, whilst the 50-something gents are all up for some hot 30s action.
But here’s a piece of advice for those 50-somethings who may want to jump start a reality television career: Kate Gosselin, of Jon Minus Kate and We’re Not Really Sure What Happened to the Eight, is apparently on internet dating sites like JDate. So that’s Kate Plus (J)Date. (Still no word on “the Eight.”)
Usually, singers wax rhapsodic about the woman’s, um, attributes, and talk about taking her home. But how do you sing about someone who you really see potential with? Now we have the answer: the romance of this contemporary longing can be summed up in the following (potentially unintentionally) hilarious lyrics from R. Kelly (with a vital contribution by Tyrese):
In case you missed the audio, that was: “Girl, you make me wanna get you pregnant. Knock you up, yeah…”
I can’t wait until this is someone’s “first dance” song at their wedding. Or even better, features into a plot of “The Office” or “30 Rock.” It has to, right? Or maybe Will Schuester will be singing it on next week’s “Glee”? (Gosh, I hope not.)
This song has obvious comedic impact (he compares her to Patron, and tries to shake it off by telling himself that he’s a player, only to keep imagining her in a house with a white picket fence until he gives up and says, “put that girl in my kitchen.” Sigh. Don’t we all wish someone special would croon these sentiments at us?) But because I’ve always got to put the “J” in this website (and because I’ve just spent three days glued to the Twitter feed for the JFNA General Assembly), I’m going to just assume that these lyrics were written by Michael Steinhardt or someone else who’s obsessed with Jewish continuity. Of course it’s a little heavy-handed to work effectively in the Jewish community, but it seems clear that the Jews need a song like this, with a strong message about pursuing marriage and children.
Some potential lyrics? Glad you asked.
“Girl, you make me wanna join Federation / be part of the Jewish nation / find a JCC with a Hebrew school, and a swimming pool.”
“I wanna knock you up / let’s go into debt together / pay for Hebrew school forever.”
“First I gave you a rock / now we’re deep in hock / first for Jewish schools then for Jewish camp / yat least we’ve got God’s approval stamp.”
I’m certain there are more potential lyrics out there. And I’m certain some of you are writing them right now. Please share!
(And we can all thank Emily Goldsher for sharing this vital piece of musical elegance with us.)
Sorry I’ve been away. Thank you for sticking around, checking back with me, reminding me to publish held comments, etc. I had been having some technical problems, but most of all found myself in a crunch for time – I kept writing half-posts and then discarding them. But now I’m back, hoping to provide some regular dating news and commentary from the crazy place where Jews and dating (sometimes) meet.
Up after the jump, Megan Fox, blind dating that’s really blind, religious transparency, and words to the brokenhearted.
Might Prop 8 have gone to the “no” voters had this video come out before the election? Perhaps. But it’s proof positive of one thing. Everything is better as a musical.
I recently wrote this post over at Beliefnet’s Idol Chatter, and was surprised that the only comment it received noted that Isla Fisher should run away from her relationship because her in-laws wanted her to convert before her marriage to Sacha Baron Cohen. The commenter noted that even though she and her husband have different ideas about God, that “nobody should tell you how to worship.”
Is that what’s going on? Thoughts?
Who? Leslie Mann, who has been in such movies as Big Daddy, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, and the upcoming Knocked Up (with suspectedly single, suspectedly Semitic Seth Rogen).
Mann’s married, and Mann’s man is writer, producer, etc Judd Apatow. But was it love at first sight? Not exactly. Here’s an excerpt from a great interview on ABC.com:
A recurring theme in Apatow’s work is of a geeky guy getting a girl whom he normally wouldn’t be able to get.
“It’s a nerd fantasy,” explained Apatow. “That’s the bad thing about doing a lot of work. Slowly the seams begin to show. â€¦ You realize it’s all one idea: pretty ladies like goofy guys. It’s just a fantasy. … But I think that a lot of it comes from the fact that on some level it’s really about wanting people to recognize you for who you are, or take the time to get to know you.”
Actress Leslie Mann, who had a memorable if brief role in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” as “the drunk girl,” has a larger, meatier role in “Knocked Up” as Heigl’s married sister. In real life, she’s married to Apatow, and admits that his recurring theme might have some basis in reality.
“I remember driving in the car with him,” she said, “looking over at him, thinking, ‘This is the kind of guy I should be with. I would never be with him, but this is the kind of guy I should be with.’ And then somehow, we went out again, and he kissed me, and then it was all good after that.”
What I’m hearing? Second chances are good.
According to this article in the NY Times, quasi-archeologist/explorer (and charter Single Semite of the Month) Josh Bernstein attracted a record number of women to a recent fireside chat at the Explorers’ Club, where he talked about his travels and adventures.
Mr. Bernstein, 36, is an anthropologist and Cornell graduate. He is the host of a program that explores mysteries like the lost cities of Atlantis and El Dorado. He travels to location by camel or paraglider or with oxygen tanks and flippers, sometimes braving natural disasters and parasites. Last Monday, during his finale on the History Channel, Mr. Bernstein explored Aztec civilization and human sacrifice.
Yes, a true and bold explorer. But has he been brave enough to try the Jewish singles scene? Talk about natural disasters, parasites and human sacrifice…
Anyway, congratulations to our SSoTM. Since the second SSoTM has also recently been in the NY Times I can only scientifically conclude that being a SSoTM makes you even more famous. So apply today!
Who will he be? Some people suggested Ilan from Top Chef (season finale tonight), which was a good instinct except that he apparently a) has a girlfriend (ergo not single, work with me people) b) seems to have an inordinately excessive love of cooking with pork products. I know, I never said that the Single Semite has to be kosher. But he should be kosher-style. Or at least not the poster boy for bacon. Plus, if you need a reason c) according to his bio, he’s also a master debater. Oops. Sorry. It says “expert debater.” For obvious reasons.
So it’s not him. But stay tuned. Post to come tomorrow, hopefully.
He’s 48, with sparkling blue eyes, a hit sitcom, a featured role in a Martin Scorcese film, and a lifelong ticket to hosting Saturday Night Live. He’d love to be married again, and have more kids. And he’s looking for love. He’s even willing to consider online dating:
In a tongue-in-cheek interview in the February issue of Glamour, Baldwin says he’s thought about dipping into the online-dating scene, and jokingly imagines the kind of responses he might get. “I could post my picture and say, ‘People tell me I look like Alec Baldwin.’ They’ll go, ‘Oh, I hate him’ or ‘Who the hell is he?’ “
JDaters Anonymous loves Alec Baldwin. Even if his brother and his ministry would likely try to convert me. (Check out his book trailer–that’s right, a book trailer–here. Or read the first chapter, with tales of partying at the Playboy mansion with Robert Downey Jr, how the “brother dynasty” got started, and how he refused to play the pos “Usual Suspects” Hollywood game that could have launched him to superstardom and instead chose to co-star with Pauly Shore in “Bio-Dome.” No joke.)
We don’t need men. Or we don’t need men to be complete. Or we complete ourselves. Or we’re happy that we don’t have someone else living in our space, leaving caps off toothpastes. Or that we like having our own space, our own time, to pursue our own interests. Or that we have the freedom to just be ourselves. Or that it’s not us, it’s them. Or that boys are stupid and we should throw rocks at them. Or that men may come and go, but our girlfriends are forever.
While there are people who believe some of these excuses, to many other people, they are just excuses. They are phrases that we utter to ourselves to make us feel like it might not be our fault, that we might not be fundamentally unlikable, that we’re doing the best we can, and our inability to find that special someone might mean that it’s just not the right time for us, not that it will never happen, even if it feels like never’s the most likely possibility. They are sanity-preserving reframings of things that feel like they’re out of our control.
And then there are people who tell us that we’re too picky (because we won’t endlessly date men we’re not interested in), or that we’re (I love this phrase) “choosing to be single.” This implies that every day we leave our apartments, pick up our New York Times from our doorstep, and step over the lengthy line of suitors waiting with flowers and chocolates and rings and hoping that we’ll give them the matrimonial time of day. It implies that suitable men have proclaimed their desire to commit to a lifetime together, and we’ve said, “sorry, I really like being single. You know, because of Carrie Bradshaw. And you know, because Angelina and Brad don’t have to be married to have fuifilling lives, and so neither do I.” (The analogy to Jolie was apparently invoked by Katie Couric on CBS.)
Now, you all know that I literally can’t even walk down the street without someone mistaking me for Carrie Bradshaw (even though she’s fictional and I’m real) or Angelina Jolie (whose lips, I’m convinced, are fictional, even though mine aren’t). But the realities of single life aren’t always glamorous in the manner of Hollywood, and aren’t always a liberation.
by a margin of one percent, more women are unmarried than married in America. The article, to no one’s great surprise, hinting as it does at the problems of sex and love, was the number one most emailed today (or as Gawker, in its inimitable style, put it this afternoon, “Also, 91% Of Women Are Now E-Mailing Spinster Article To Their Single Friends.”)
Leaving aside what struck us as strange methodology (like the fact that the survey counted anyone over the age of fifteen as a woman), there was something else disturbing about the piece. It had a tone of exuberance that spun the numbers as an unambiguously positive piece of progress for women. A quote from William H. Frey of the Brookings Institute captured the mood of it. The shift away from marriage, Frey said, represents “a clear tipping point, reflecting the culmination of post-1960 trends associated with greater independence and more flexible lifestyles for women.”
But this doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re choosing the single life. It means that our options are more open in terms of timelines and in terms of the men who are (theoretically) available to us. And sometimes, this means making different choices than our mothers and grandmothers might have made.
There are certainly women, especially those who are recently divorced and feeling free for the first time, who choose the single life. But those of us who choose not to marry the first person who asks (or who are stubborn enough to insist on waiting for someone who is actually appropriate and whom we love), are not choosing the single life. We’re choosing life itself.
Unless that’s just one of those things we tell ourselves.