Group therapy in a blog.
Archive for July, 2008
Meet Me at Shul
717 years
It’s been said (or rather, sung) that what the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.
But you know what the world really needs? More Jewish dating sites!!!
Here’s MeetMeAtShul, which, in addition to being another free Jewish dating site, has the added benefit of a URL that can be read two ways–“Meet Me At Shul” or “Meet Meat Shul.” (If I founded it, would you go to the MeetMeat Shul? And what would they serve at kiddush? Just curious.)
Love, Jerusalem Style
017 years
Those of you hoping that this is a report from the Holy City about my impending marriage to an officer in the IDF are about to be disappointed. But those of you who might have missed my columns in the Jewish Week might be interested in this piece I did for the same newspaper about the new TV show “Serugim,” which chronicles single life in some of Jerusalem’s neighborhoods.
Love, Jerusalem Style
by Esther D. Kustanowitz
[…] residents have embraced the new show, which is in Hebrew, and tackles the experiences of single religious Jews from varying backgrounds.
The first two episodes deal with tensions within Orthodoxy and the nuances of interpersonal relationships between people who are very different, in terms of both personality and Jewish observance. For instance, women roommates have rules about men not sleeping over. But what if your date gets so drunk that he can’t drive home? Can he stay over? And what happens when that guy wants to put on tefillin in the morning, and the only set available is from Stacy, the Reform rabbinical student down the hall? […]
Revisiting JSinglesSpace and the Continuity Cafe
317 years
The piece below originally appeared as part of the Jewish Week’s “Big Ideas” Issue in December of 2006 and decried a lack of research on Jewish singles and suggested a center for research of single life which could double as a young community center and living space for single Jews.
Very recently, researcher Steven M Cohen produced “Uncoupled: How Our Singles are Reshaping Jewish Engagement,” a study about unmarried 20-somethings and 30-somethings and their habits regarding connection to Jewish life. (He’s speaking at the PresenTense Institute this Thursday at 1pm, and I’ve been invited to comment in response. See here for directions.)
But the more I think about it and write about it (on JDatersAnonymous and in the creation of a book proposal on the subject of Jewish singles), and the more I see of the communal approach of the PresenTense Institute, the more relevant I think a proposal like this is–people have their own projects and interests, but the spirit of the collective inspires individuals and their creativity. While this piece was written for the Jewish Week and therefore centered on New York City, the truth is that such an institute could exist in another major city somewhere–Chicago, LA, San Francisco or Jerusalem–and would yield interesting research as well as perhaps some interesting friendships and relationships.
So here’s the piece again for your re-consideration. Looking forward to the discussion. (And yes, the piece is available for reprints–reasonable rates, just ask.)
JSinglesSpace and the Continuity Cafe
by Esther D. Kustanowitz
Each year, a new crop of idealistic Jewish twentysomethings moves to New York City in an attempt to forge romantic futures and financial fortunes in the city that never sleeps. The number of people crammed into Upper West Side two-bedroom apartments that were converted to three to accommodate each year’s immigrant singles thematically recalls Lower East Side tenement days. 10024 has so many single Jewish women that they may not even all show up in a JDate zip code search (a true story from JDate customer service). And many of those twentysomethings stay uncoupled until they’re thirtysomething or fortysomething, clustering in tribes of the seemingly-eternally single. But despite all of these fascinating trends, academic studies have yet to focus on Jewish singles anywhere, let alone within the borders of New York City.
(more…)
What JDate Needs is a Digital Culture Evangelist
917 years
In this excellent, sure-to-become-a-classic post, Leah Jones enumerates a helpful list of “How Social Media Ruined Jdate For Me,” which is less a complaint and more a series of observations about how JDate isn’t living up to the technical expectations of a generation that lives increasingly online, and which increasingly requires more advanced features in order to surf and connect effectively.
If Jdate is monitoring any of the blogbuzz about their product and if they care about creating a system that works better (two assumptions, I know), hopefully they’ll take this free advice from someone who could actually fetch a high price for this kind of corporate technology assessment. But we’ll see.
Should In-Laws Have a Say? And Does How You Worship Matter?
217 years
I recently wrote this post over at Beliefnet’s Idol Chatter, and was surprised that the only comment it received noted that Isla Fisher should run away from her relationship because her in-laws wanted her to convert before her marriage to Sacha Baron Cohen. The commenter noted that even though she and her husband have different ideas about God, that “nobody should tell you how to worship.”
Is that what’s going on? Thoughts?
“Driving the Jewish Men Away”
11217 years
Remember this post, about “Open Space: That Question Again”? Good times. Now there’s a comment that requires your comments. So try to come at it with an open mind…
“With American Jewish men brought up from the earliest age to pair up with Jewish women and still so many choose non Jewish mates perhaps Jewish women must reflect on what they might be doing to drive these men away.”
For one, I know that my sense of humor is intimidating to men and women alike. So I’m going to try to be less entertaining from now on. It will be an effort, but I’ll do it for the birthrate.
What else can we Jewish women do to not scare Jewish men away? And while we’re making concessions, should Jewish men give us anything in return?