Have a contract for a new film? Call your lawyer. Got a romance that everyone’s talking about? Call your lawyer. You gotta hand it to celebrities for conducting their romances like a business. If someone publishes a photo of you kissing a “mystery blonde” right as your DVD comes out on video, instruct your attorneys to sue the three newspapers who are trying to expose you and split up the Vaughniston. Vince Vaughn did, and we all know how much people dig Vince Vaughn.
Personally, I love a headline that reads “Lawyer Says Aniston and Vaughn a Happy Couple.” I mean, who would know more about whether or not two people are in love than a lawyer? Maybe I should contact my crack legal team, to find out if I’m in a happy couple with someone. I might be off the market and not even know it…