And now, a public service for the dating community. Thanks to the Happiness Project, we’ve got some hints as to how to know if you’re not connecting with your audience. “Are you boring?”

1. Repeated, perfunctory responses. A person who says, “Oh really? Oh really? That’s interesting. Oh really?” is probably not too engaged.

2. Simple questions. People who are bored ask simple questions. “When did you move?” “Where did you go?” People who are interested ask more complicated questions that show curiosity, not mere politeness.

There are others, and obviously, if your audience has jetlag, these kinds of cues can get thrown off a bit. But generally, this kind of list helps not just to designate what kind of talker you should be, but to identify what kind of listener you are. So check out the rest of the list and see where you fit in…