Group therapy in a blog.
Who’s Crazy?: Lessons in Love and Communication
My old “nondating” bloggerfriend Ken Wheaton (who’s got a novel coming out, btw), posted this to Facebook, noting that women are crazy and that he had no idea if this was true or a stunt. So I clicked play hesitantly, prepared to defend the honor of this particular woman and all women everywhere, noting that we are not crazy, or that the whole thing sounded made up to me.
And so it began:
During the Summer of 2007, I had the opportunity to backpack around Europe for 2 weeks. I talked about it often before I left. My girlfriend however, although great in many respects, was not the world’s greatest listener. I left on Friday June 1st. Despite even calling her to say goodbye the night before, she never realized I left. When I arrived home 2 weeks later, I had several emails from her, waiting in my inbox…
On his site, JD notes (about all his content), “All of this is true, or none of it is — whatever you want.”
After viewing it, I’m not sure what to think. Is her descent into relationship madness funny/relatable/pathetic? Yes. Are some of her reactions over the top? Of course. Should she have listened when her boyfriend told her he’d be out of town for two weeks? Given. But do we know that said boyfriend is an excellent communicator? Nope, we don’t. And what kind of human being doesn’t check email even once for two whole weeks? I know most people feel we’re too connected these days, but two weeks without phone or email, even to Mom? I don’t know.
Maybe it’s like the statistic quoted in a number of (pre-2001) films, including “Sleepless in Seattle,” which noted that women over 40 were more likely to be killed in a terrorist attack than they were to get married – fictional, but that it doesn’t matter if the story is actually true, as Rosie O’Donnell’s character says in “Sleepless”: it feels true. (But don’t worry: the “doomed spinsters” are getting married, says Newsweek.)
So: crazy? Or not crazy? True? Or just “feels true”? I don’t have answers. But what I do have (without spoiling the ending of the clip) is some idea that when they’re in relationships, people need to communicate more clearly in advance of an absence, and yes – I’ll go out there and say it – even when they’re not absent. Now, watch the clip. Laugh. Think it insane or untrue, or crazy or accurate, but enjoy the outstanding musical accompaniment and the dramatic escalation. (And for more of JD’s stories, check out jdsmanstories.blogspot.com.)
Men are idiots. Women are crazy. This realization has helped me so much. So much.
um, if someone is about to go away for two weeks, they would have been planning it for a while and both halves of the couple would have known about it well in advance. it wouldn’t have been mentioned one time and the girl wasn’t paying attention. this is bogus, exaggerated, and just plain stupid. either that or the guy is selfish.
I don’t know how this says anything about men or women in general. It certainly says something about two people who don’t seem to be in a serious relationship enough to know when the other is going out of town or to be able to communicate that as such. As JewGirl said, I would have been mentioning going away for a long time and both halves of the couple would have known about it well in advance.
That said, my sister told me she was going upstate for the weekend for her birthday. I called her and left messages on her phone then wishing her a happy birthday. When I didn’t hear back from her on Monday, I panicked about her lying on the side of a road. She came back and said she just didn’t have email access or phone access and her idea of “weekend” includes Monday.
My thought is that she knew that he was leaving but forgot and somehow his lack of response wasn’t a reminder. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for him to cease phone and email communication while he’s away. When I go away I feel odd checking my email and feel liberated when I don’t. I like being away from technology when I’m controlling the reason that I’m not connected.
That said, I don’t know if it’s true or not but have no real reason to think that it’s not. Someone on Twitter said that she knows both men and women like that girl. If I were the girl, and forgot or didn’t know, I wouldn’t be angry but worried sick.
If this is true, I think it reflects almost as poorly on the guy as the girl. Whether he didn’t communicate clearly or she has the worst memory in history, if she genuinely didn’t know why he wasn’t returning her calls for two weeks, of course she was incredibly hurt and angry. She pleaded with him not to open her emails, but he did it anyway even though he knew they were going to contain things that, uh, weren’t pleasant based on their misunderstanding.
Then he dumps her and decides to avoid passionate people because they can get passionately angry, too. Yep, you should definitely find someone who doesn’t love you too much so they won’t be too upset when they think you’re breaking up with them without even the courtesy of a phone call. The logic here is priceless.
The way the girl expressed her pain and anger was dramatic and immature, yes. I get the sense that she was probably pretty young. But most of the things she said were obviously in reaction to what must’ve seemed like the most cruel, heartless behavior on his part. He could’ve at least made an effort to put himself in her shoes before writing her off.