Group therapy in a blog.
Cultural Differences
Cultural differences can be the spice of life – making things diverse always makes things more interesting. But extreme cultural differences can create conflict and lead to more misunderstandings than an episode of “Three’s Company.” Usually people speak about cultural differences as originating from language differences. But what a recent article in the Seattle P.I. blog pointed out is that sometimes, even two people who speak English may not be speaking the same language, or use the same tone.
The writer insightfully noticed that although American and British newspapers both offer personals that are technically written in English, the tone and length of the American personals are vastly different than in their British counterparts.
Both of these ads are from the Review of Books. The first is from the New York Review of Books, while the second is from the London Review of Books.
NYRB: THE REAL DEAL–classy, confident, and really cute Ph.D. Sensual and stylish, sweet and successful, Boston-based. Brains, looks, and a great sense of fun. Toned, fit, romantic, blonde. Proactive, easygoing, generous, yet no tolerance for injustice or arrogance. Traveler, writer, adventurer–can never get enough of Paris, San Miguel, Puerto Escondido (dreams of one day speaking Spanish fluently), fantasizes about visiting Rome or exploring Outer Banks with special man. Fan of political humor, legislative policy, jazz clubs, Prosecco, fiction, New York weekends, Central Park, fireworks on the Esplanade. Appreciative of talent, be it sports, theater, music. Seeks bright, passionate, active man, 50–early 70s.
LRB: Inelegant. Seeks same. Be my soul/slob-mate. F (42) seeks M (35-55) or best excuse for one.
What kinds of cultural or communicational issues have you experienced in your relationships (or attempted relationships)?
London Review personals are hilarious! There’s a brilliant collection of them that’s impossible to read without having an accident:
http://www.amazon.com/They-Call-Me-Naughty-Lola/dp/1416540296
For the first year of marriage, my husband and I couldn’t understand each other. Oh, we were both speaking English but because of our cultural differences, our class differences, neither of us really understood what the other was saying.
“Gefilte Fish Con Maduros”
In my experience, the biggest differences have come into play around dating etiquette. There are no universal rules anymore. People get their ideas about dating from their families, friends, religious communities, and the media. What seems to you like the polite thing to do could be interpreted as a big gaffe by your date. What’s worse, people usually don’t communicate about these differences; they just expect everyone else to think exactly as they do.