Valentine’s Day Back and Samer Than Ever
If you’re reading this, then you’re likely experiencing what I’m experiencing: the year of no Valentine. Of course, as you’ve likely heard me say before, Valentine’s Day wasn’t something I celebrated as a child in school, nor was it an active part of my college experience, save the one year I had a boyfriend in February. So I’m of the opinion that, were I to have someone worth celebrating, we should do so quietly, reveling in our alone time and in the miracle of having found each other, instead of going out into public, where the single people live, and making them feel bad.
That’s why at JDaters Anonymous, we like to offer reading options for our single readers, as well as some pointers for our non-single readers. Hopefully, this will make this Valentine’s Day — and the world — a better place.
For single people:
1. Plan a night with the single friends you love most, the ones who make you feel complete even in your absence of spouse, life partner or boon companion. Go to a rockin’ show, perhaps one that’s only in town for one night at the House of Blues.
2. Send an anti-Valentine card, or “>have Isaac Hayes leave a message for someone you like or dislike.
3. Realize that you’re not alone (yes, Virginia, there are other singles blogs) and help other people find community. Leave comments so people know that their voices or words are being heard.
4. Chocolate, flowers, chocolate.
For married friends of single people:
1. Scan your address book for available singles and really sit down and consider them: would any of them enjoy the company of the other? Do a mitzvah and initiate the hookup.
2. Reconsider your official or unofficial policy on PDA. Remember, it’s not just about what you’re feeling…it’s what you’re making other people feel. Remember the old school rule: if you’re going to bring candy to class, you have to bring enough to share.
3. Invite your single friends to meals at your house–maybe not on Valentine’s Day itself, but you can make the call on February 14th and make the plan for another time. It’s a way to let your single friends know that they’re important to you.
4. Chocolate, flowers, chocolate.
What else could single or married people do to help Valentine’s Day be less difficult?
Esther, I disagree about PDA. Personally I like to see people who are happy together – it reminds me that it’s possible. I get vicarious pleasure watching people in love. I had my day, they’re having theirs. That’s the wheel of fortune. Best of luck to them! And Happy Valentine’s Day everybody, single or not.
i think Feb. 14 should be re-dubbed “Hallmark Card Day.” it’s designed to make single people feel like s*** and make couples feel pressured to be romantic when they can just do it on their own. and yes, please tone down the PDA. do it in the privacy of your own home, not on the subway where everyone else is probably in agreement that they don’t need to be subjected to people sucking face after a long day of work.
I think the thing that helps me the most is to remember that really, it’s just another day. It is. It’s a fabricated construct that really, in the scheme of things, is meaningless. If you have a loving relationship, it’s loving on a daily basis. It’s not just one day of the year. And if not, there’s no real reason to feel MORE single on V-day.
Valentines weather you’re single or not it is still a greeting card holiday and a most profitable time for dentists I’m sure right after Halloween.
Or why not spend the day arguing about such and sundry like everyone else?
Good to see you back from the West Coast tour. Cheers & Good Luck! ‘VJ’
Via:
March 2008 Atlantic Monthly
The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough
by Lori Gottlieb
Marry Him!
[http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/single-marry]
E –
Maybe this will make it easier for you, but many couples (at least NYers over 30) hardly care about V Day. As my restauranteur friend told me, most reservations are made by the Bridge and Tunnel set. And frankly, few guys care at all. So treat it like any night.