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The first topic I must mention is that somehow, this singles columnist/blog proprietress missed the fact that last week was National Singles Week. How this escaped my attention is completely beyond me. I must have been in a Windy City. Or in La-La Land.

Biopics are huge. With The Aviator (Howard Hughes) and Ray (Ray Charles) dominating much of the Oscar buzz last year, and with the imminent arrival of the already-critically-acclaimed Walk the Line, the upcoming biopic about Johnny Cash starring Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon, it wasn’t surprising to me to read about the following deal:

JANE HAWKING’s book about the turbulent years of her romance with astrophysics genius and A BRIEF HISTORY OF TIME author STEPHEN HAWKING is being turned into a movie. Bosses at Hollywood’s Film And Music Entertainment Inc have acquired the film rights to MUSIC TO MOVE THE STARS and now hope the story will become an Oscar-worthy epic.

Moving on to the Grand Romantic Gestures Department, cosponsored by Bad Idea Jeans…”Lovelorn widower Hugh Ramage has taken out newspaper advertisements to try to find the mystery Welsh woman he fell for on holiday.” After chatting with the woman, who he now describes as his “perfect match” for hours over the course of his vacation, poolside in Bulgaria, he made a tactical error: he didn’t ask her name. All he has to go on is that she’s from Wales. (Actually, that’s more like “Bad Planning Jeans.”) So, he’s decided to “take out advertisements in a last-gasp bid to claim a holiday romance.” The Scottish grandfather added, “We talked about our families, where we lived, what we did. I have never met anyone before that I can talk to so easily – it was if we had known each other for ever.”

“I was going to ask her if she would like to keep in touch,” he explained, “But for some reason, I lost my bottle.” [I love that phrase.-EDK] Mr Ramage, of Belshill, Lanarkshire, said he would be happy to travel the 400 miles from his home to Wales to meet the woman of his dreams again.

He then added, “And I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more, just to be the one who walked a thousand miles to be there at your door.” (The Proclaimers….look it up.)

But not all is bad for single women…Forbes reports that “Married women are more likely to report ongoing sexual difficulties than either single women or married men, according to an eye-opening new survey from Britain.” Want all the details on how functional or dysfunctional you are? Check it out here…

Frustrated movie romance of the week: (Serenity spoiler here, so consider yourself warned)…Mal and Innara. Come on! She’s a frickin’ courtesan! Stop your shomer negiah smoldering at each other, get over yourselves and get yourselves a room already…that’s all I’m saying. Want more Serenity spoilers? Try MyUrbanKvetch.

As for someone who (I hope) is one of your favorite singles columnists, she’s had a good week. Her new column, Homing in on Change, is in this week’s Jewish Week, and she’s been profiled on Jmerica’s YoYenta blog. And she’s apparently begun referring to herself in the third-person.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone.

A friend tipped me off–JDate’s changing, relaunching soon with a new interface and new features, including a magazine. You heard it here, folks…

Check out their teaser…and pay attention to the spelling in Elena’s profile.

Believe me, it’s a good ting they’re being so up front about the fact that most of the profiles will have spelling errors in them…

And does anyone think the music sounds a little bit, um, porny? (Not that I’d know what that sounds like…)

It’s like an episode of Friends. I know. They don’t know I know. Or they wish I didn’t. But I do. Still, no one says a thing. I’ve asked, and had my queries laughed at. But I’d have to be an idiot to not know.

Of course it would be hard to learn, finally, after so much time and energy spent wondering and multiple denials, that such suspicions were more than just paranoia, but I always remember the old phrase: Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you. Not because they hate you. Because they love you, and they don’t know how to tell you. They’re afraid of how it might affect you, and they’re right to be. But the truth is more important, because I’ve asked before, and they’ve lied. For my own good, they undoubtedly told themselves in justification, but still. There it is. The object that obstructs my moving forward. The roadkill that used to be my trusting heart. I understand why they’re scared to say anything.

There may be another angle, that they’re scared to vocalize, to admit to themselves in a way that might make it real. So let’s bring yet another elephant into the room and try to ignore that one, too.

Of course, they don’t have to tell me, because I already know. The facts already affect me, almost as much as the lies by omission. And in this state, still wounded, we’re all trapped here together, without any chance for progress or hope of sutures.

Still, with them knowing I know, it would be nice to finally know. You know?

Loneliness is a funny thing. Not in the “har-dee-har-har” type of way, obviously. But in a grander sense, loneliness is not defined by who you’re with or who you’re not with; it’s an inner state that sometimes dwells dormant and other times explodes, or simmers, corroding from within, and sometimes even seems one of the more self-indulgent of emotional states.

Who are we to feel lonely? We can seek out the company of others. We can momentarily drown out the refrains of “I’mlonelyI’mlonelyI’mlonely” with loud music or distracting movies or sorting socks in drawers or fiddling with digital photos and blog templates.

You can feel lonely in a room full of people. You can feel lonely and alone inside your head. You can feel lonely in a point of view, or political opinion, or on the highways and freeways even as cars or thoughts speed by. You can feel lonely in the contemplation of a strong, or suffering, spiritual state. You can feel lonely in the excruciating moment you realize a hoped-for romance has turned platonic. You can feel lonely as you notice love or beauty in others and know that you have no part in it.

You can feel lonely because you yourself are sad, or dissatisfied, or bored, or frustrated. You can feel lonely when you’re the only one who understands the situation fully. You can feel lonely when you know friends are keeping things from you, even if their intentions are good. You can feel lonely at your own birthday party. You can feel lonely on a beach, or driving through a canyon, or watching a sunset. You can feel lonely knowing that there’s a joke or reference you’re not a part of; and even if you have it explained to you by insiders, you still don’t find it funny, and knowing it doesn’t make you one of them. It never will. And that’s lonely.