…in the JDaters Anonymous percolator… dating matters a-plenty, from religious rules against touching members of the opposite sex to hooking up, from the Friend Zone to sparkage, and maybe a little Sex and the City reflection here and there…

In the interim, check out musical condoms.

That’s right. I said “musical condoms.”

Now, you can play it safe along with music! A scientist has come up with musical condoms that apart from being a contraceptive gives you the opportunity play you own tone that gets louder as the sex gets more vigorous. Different lovemaking positions determine what tune is played by the condom, which also works like a normal contraceptive.The rubber has tiny sensors connected to a mini electronic device that produces the sounds. “But there is no danger of being electrocuted,” the Sun quoted Dr Chausovskiy as saying, who has teamed up with a manufacturer to export the condoms to Britain. They will cost about 20 per cent more than normal condoms. “But people will pay for the extra stimulation,” he added.

I bet they will. And this also gives the word “vibratto” a whole new meaning.