Group therapy in a blog.
Sex Columnists Tell All
…and that’s how they’re different from me.
New York Magazine is all about sex this week, with a Mating feature containing what appears to have been some sort of drunken columnist round-table that was eventually hijacked by the Washingtonienne, who provided helpful hints from her experience (“when I wrote my book, I got Adderall from my friends, and I was typing like a maniac. And that’s the thing, yeah, that and snorting coke helped me write the book really fast.”) Note taken.
Normally, my sense of jealousy flares up when I’m not invited to columnist bashes or given publicity like other writers. But frankly, I’m glad to have been left out of this one. I just finished reading it at the gym and was a little sickened by it. I try to be tolerant of the choices that people and writers make in their personal and professional lives. But some of these statements just seem like cries for attention writ large and often within this article…
Plus, any of my regular readers know that I write more about trends and less about individuals I’ve dated. That, hopefully, keeps me connected to other people, not just to my own experiences. Of course, keeping “real people” out of the discussion, I hope that I’m being respectful of their privacy. And these women, as entertaining and honest as their writing may be, do that writing at the expense of other people’s privacy.
My writing may suffer because it’s not as honest as these other columnists. As long as my writing lacks their explicit, NC-17 quality, I may never grab the attention of New York magazine. But I think I’ll be okay with that.
Good post. “The Vagina Dialogues”. “How would you describe your most recent sex experience?” “I don’t know, it was so long ago I forgot.”
Does the world need to know that Stephanie Klein lets her dog lick her privates? Though Jessica Cutler with the spanking, hairpulling and handcuffs was thought-provoking.
A comment about coming together reminded me of a Woody Allen joke. “The only time my wife and I had simultaneous orgasms was when the judge signed the divorce papers”.
Esther, don’t try to be like them. Like Billy Joel says, we love you just the way you are.
Holy flurking shnit. What a depressing article. I enjoyed Amy Sohn from way back in the day, when she wrote her single girl column for the New York Press. But I always felt it was kind of sad that for Sohn, and all these women, the only way they could make a name for themselves as writers was to exploit their sexuality. It’s such a tempting, and easy trap to fall into for a writer, as our culture values voyeuristic pleasures over literary. And I really think that once you taste success from that kind of self-exploitation (not to mention exploitation of your friends and lovers), it’s hard to develop as a writer because writing about sex becomes a crutch. You’ll always have readers, no matter how uninteresting your writing is.
A lot of these writers are writing themselves into a corner. And that corner happens to be in (a) Penthouse. So don’t be jealous, Esther. (Though I know you’re really not.) I mean, going from the Jewish Week to Penthouse Letters wasn’t really the career leap you were looking for anyway, right?? I’d say hold out for an offer in Penthouse proper.
Phillip Roth does a lot what Rokhl is talking about, uses his own sex life as material. Wrote a very good book called “The Counterlife”.
Though I don’t think he really did what he describes in Pornoy’s Complaint with liver. At least I hope not.
I hope Philip Roth wasn’t using his own sex life for material. Actually, what I was referring to was totally different than what Roth does. I consider him to be possibly the greatest living American writer. And yes, he writes about sex, but no one (I hope) reads him to be titillated. They read him because he’s a genius. Most people would never read Stephanie Klein or Amy Sohn, or any of these sex columnist/writers, unless they were dishing out super personal, intimate and juicy details. And frankly, if we’re going to talk about attention and validation, I think that if you’re getting the kind of validation that entails a two book deal with Regan Books, in my opinion, you’re probably doing something *wrong*. Do you think that Nicole Richie (also a Regan Books author) thinks she’s a good writer because she’s got a book deal and lots of people are buying her book? Probably. Me, I’d rather know, by myself, in my heart, that I’ve grown as a writer, than have all the glitz and glamor. That said, I wish for Esther, and myself, and all the serious girl writers out there, as many multi-book publishing contracts and Hollywood development deals as possible.
Esther – Thanks for the heads up. I never much liked Amy Sohn, but her comments (in italics) of this article make me like her more than I did. She seems to recognize that they are all a little off base.
I can’t fault them for going where the money is. We live in a TMI environment. You can ignore it, live in it, or exploit it.
And PS, see Scott Cunning’s interesting and analytical post on the difference between candor and honesty…
You guys sound like a bunch of jealous prudes. Jealous that these girls are making something of themselves. There’s nothing wrong with writing about sex. It’s an important subject that people should be talking about. Some people on the panel were over the top, but you’re all judging these girls just because they write differently than you.
At least these girls are published authors. Who are you??