Group therapy in a blog.
“Online Dating”: Another Reader Responds
A reader, in response to my column on internet dating, writes:
I just heard from a Jewish dentist who is either …..(after seeing my photo)…either hot to trot, smitten, married or all of the above. He gave me his cell phone # and wants me to call him ASAP.
Another joker was smitten on the phone then disappeared for a week….never called back, but kept IMing me and finally asked me out for a drink. When I said I dont’ drink and would prefer to meet for a casual lunch….he got huffy in a hurry then IMed me again and said he’d buy me a soda (since I don’t drink).
Another beauty bought me a lovely dinner then said he’d call……he didn’t. He then IMed me several weeks later and asked me how I felt about safe fantasies and bondage!
And yes, I also referred her to JDatesGoneWrong…
What’s a “safe” fantasy? Dressing up like little bo peep?
I can thank some on-line dates for making me more religiously aware. I had lunch with a Stern girl who said she was “conservadox”, but turned down a 2nd date because:
1. I didn’t wear a yamika on the 1st.
2. “You drive on shabbos!” She hissed this at me as if to suggest it’s like I admitted I have sex with animals. After a few-more on-line dates, that may seem like a good alternative.
This weekend, I got a jdate email that said “I thought your profile was great. Please check out mine and if you are interested, let me know where to send a pic” . The profile was OK- nothing great but nothing offensive. I sent my generic email address. 3 minutes later i had black and white pin-ups of this dude with his erect penis hanging out the top of his underwear. I forwarded the pics to a gay friend for kicks and never replied. I figured it was late saturday night and he was feeling frisky. This morning I rec’d an email from him asking if I rec’d his pics and offerring his cell phone number. I wrote back and said “no thanks, but my gay friends gave you a standing ovation”
~Crick
Shouldn’t there be some kind of classification and monitoring system in place over there?
Often you will apply say for a job via some web site, and then they will email you immediatly with some other info you left out.
Couldn’t JDate have this controls built in. Why bec. Obviously, there are some things people do, that others would prefer not to experience.
U could have like a rating system.
Open to depravity, not open, etc…
I am willing to implement this for them, it’s more involved than I am letting on. Have something there contact me.
It’s economic worthwhile to weed out the insipid.
Whatever classification and monitoring system JDate had, they’ve recently loosened their standards.
A fun thing to do, especially if you’re not paying and just have a goof profile up, is to change your screen name and see how many hits you get. Like changing the bait on your hook and seeing how the fish like it, excuse my chauvinism.
I recently had a profile called “JewPenis”, at first because looking at it and just thinking about it made me laugh (pardon my immaturity).
In the old days, “JewPenis” would probably have been quickly edited off by the JDate police and I would have been reduced to a number. But it stayed up this time for several days. And it got more hits than any recent screen name I’ve had.
JewPenis was amputated this morning, by me. I write this to encourage the more adventurous readers here to stretch the limits of their profiles to where no JDater has gone before.
Dear JewPenis,
You are a dick. Why don’t you find something more constructive to do than put up fake profiles, like go wank-off.
There are paying members on the site who still like to maintain the fantasy that someday they might find a man with an ounce of decency who happens to also be employed, intelligent and doesn’t make them want to puke when he tries to kiss them. I know, pure fantasy, but that’s what I’m paying for.
Thank you for wasting everyone’s time and giving people another reason to complain about internet dating.
Sincerely,
JewPussy
Dear JewPussy:
Thank you for your kind words. I have no need at present to wank off, thank you. But if and when I do, I will think of you with the greatest affection. JewPenis