Group therapy in a blog.
High Cost of Jewish Dating
I just got an email from Jdate warning me that their rates are going up:
On April 26, for the first time in nearly 3 years, we will increase the price of a 1-month JDate subscription. As a result, you have until midnight Wednesday, April 25, to lock-in JDate’s lowest available 1-month rate. If you wait until Thursday morning, you will be too late. Each year, thousands and thousands of singles meet their soulmates on JDate and we want you to have an opportunity to do the same.
Here are the details: The new price will be $39.99. If you act now, not only will you save $5 on your first month’s subscription but you will also secure the low guaranteed renewal rate for as long as you remain a paying subscriber! For an even better value, purchase one of our 3- or 6-month subscriptions today.
So, what’s a single gal to do? Buy into the system, even though it never worked for her in the past and it’s now ever more expensive, and knowing full well that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? Or eschew the very idea of paying JDate any more money, knowing full well that Murphy’s Law states that as I make that decision, my bashert will be signing up for his three-month stint to take advantage of the $5/month savings?
Either way, someone’s going to tell me I’m making the wrong choice. The question is, will the voices be internal or external?
I just watched a news story regarding their uh “refund policy.”
I say don’t give them ANY more of your hard earned money.
Then again you could always try for a month with the same “low rate.”
There has to be a middle ground.
I’d 2nd Ro’s 1st thoughts here. Here’s what you might do with the $40 per mo. Treat one special friend, guy or gal to dinner a month with the money. Better still, treat yourself. But I like the companion bit. I say you’re more likely to find someone to go on a 2nd date if you spring for the first. The only question is of course the capture procedure. But to me, that’s like another cable bill. And I’ve never had cable for that very reason & more! Cheers & Good Luck! ‘VJ’
I gave up on JDate when they changed their site so you had to be a member even to see who sent messages, let alone read them. And since you can’t look at someone’s profile and determine if they’re members, you have no way of knowing if they read your message or not.
I met my soulmate on JDate almost 7 months ago after being and on-again, off-again member of JDate for several years, so I say keep on trying, you never know!
Ro,
Where was the news story? I posted about here a few posts ago, but I did not know it was in the news. I am not paying them one more cent…they have competitors. They are too expensive and the no refund policy is criminal
It was a local news story in Boston. The Channel was WHDH Boston 7. It was a Help Me Hank segment. I can’t find it online. But it aired a couple of weeks ago.
It was about this guy from a local university who was on JDate for a month. Then when he ended his subscription the kid kept getting billed. He was charged over 500 dollars before he could contact the company about the mistake.
JDate said they would only refund a 100. Hank Phillipe Ryan called the company and managed to get them to refund the kids debit or credit card…I can’t remember which.
The kid did meet someone in real life and didn’t need the site.
Oh yes I should mention the bills went to his parents house. He didn’t know they were billing him regularly, thats why the amount was so high.
http://www1.whdh.com/features/articles/helpmehank/BO48644
Here is the link. I wonder why he was being charged for 49 bucks. Unless it’s some debit card fee. I don’t have one so I wouldn’t know.
When it aired they had the site up on tv. Jdate logo and everything odd.
I hate jdate.
See, that’s the kind of freakin’ wusses you meet on Jdate, those who parents pay their bills so they don’t even have to check them themselves. What a LOSER! He didn’t deserve a refund.
I must admit they gave me fifteen days free in lieu of a refund for the Duncan Sheik debacle, see http://jdatersanonymous.com/?p=394
but that in no way compensates me for my latest JDate adventure in which a 45 year old with two kids who grew up on Long Island and currently lives in Westchester asked to meet me for a date at the Starbucks near Grand Central because that was his “preferred JDate procedure”. He said he had about 40 JDates and only liked one girl.
I said “why don’t we shake things up a bit, go to a Barnes and Noble instead?”
“No, I like the quiet of Starbucks.”
I’m thinking “6:00 on a Thursday I need Happy Hour and Appetizers, not Starbucks”, but I say “I really don’t think Starbucks dates ever work out and what happen’s if I need a donut or something?”
He says “I’ll even buy you a wrap or a sandwich” so I agree, Starsucks it is.
Then I send him email saying “will be closer to Lincoln Center, let’s meet at the Starbucks near there instead of one near Grand Central”
He writes back
“I don’t know how to get to Lincoln Center and this is getting too complicated, why don’t we just forget it and say it’s not beshert.”
To which I respond
“why don’t we just forget it and say you are a PUTZ, Lincoln Center is a major NYC landmark.”
To which writes
“I wish you the best of luck, you seem to have a lot of anger.”
To which I blockand delete him.
These stories keep coming and I keep going back in for more: STOP THE INSANITY!
Priceless, ‘Where’s Lincoln Center?’ Too complicated? Chutzpah you’re worth it for the entertainment alone! Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’
Wow I’m from New England and I even known where Lincoln Center is. Jeez.
You dont have to be a member to check out profiles. So, what I did was browse as a non-member, and when i saw that there were a few people that I wanted to contact, I then joined for a month, and contacted those people. I then cancelled after that month, having met or dated enough to permit me to drop. Some time later, after those (and other) relationships fizzled, I went back on, saw some new profiles that seemd great and then joined again for the month. Lest it be said, I only paid for 2 months, dated a whole slew of people and am still with one of those whom I contacted 1.5 years later…
Hey Chutzpah, Amishav misses your bitterness, go visit him.
Thanks for the shout out Jody, right now I am working out the details of my conspiracy theory that the 40-something divorced Jewish men are behind the poisoning of the cat food industry, because they all say cats are a deal-breaker.
Well, luckily my 47-year-old divorced boyfriend loves my cats! BTW, met him on JDate, still dating after 7 months!
I’ll bet JDate (the site we love to hate!) is raising their prices precisely because of attrition, and needs to offset the loss in revenue.
I just hate these very lucky Jdate stories. They seem so bloody untypical! But we’re Happy for you Jody. That’s one less plaything for others to destroy/annoy ahead of you, right? And Chutzpah, we very well know who’s poisoning all the cat/pet food. It’s the Chinese & imported food proteins adulterating the foodstuff. (Congress finally held hearings on this today). The corporations do it for profit, the FDA looks the other way, (they’re all probably Good Repug & Bush donors), and the pets sicken & die. Rinse, lather & Repeat. Why? Because we could not send them off to a miserable illegal war we’re currently losing badly. Now that about covers it. Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’
I think the word is “atypical”, VJ. Also, are you a bitter singleton like Chutzpah? Just curious…
BTW, both my brother and a male cousin met their wives on JDate. Food for thought…
Jody,
You better stop giving your relationship the “eyin hara” there babe, because if Mr. 47 year old doesn’t cough up an engagment ring at your rapidly approaching one year anniversary you will most likely never see one and you will be back out there pounding the keyboard unless you never want to take a stroll down the aisle (not that there’s anything wrong with that.) Hope it works out for you, imyertz hashem.
VJ-
Obviously the FDA is not looking the other way if they are actively investigating each and every corporation that produces pet food. The chinese eat cats and dogs and poison their own babies with tainted formula on a daily basis.
Your paranoia about Bush and the Republicans ruining the world on purpose boarders on psychotic.
I’ll give my relationship whatever I want, Chutzpah, thank you very much! And maybe you’re used to pressuring men for engagements, hence the reason you are still single, but that is not my style.
Um No Chutzpah, the FDA did precisely Nothing. For years. While people sickened & died for the lack of oversight & the enforcement of modest regulation. Teddy Roosevelt knew this. If you let corporations run amuck adulterating food for fun & profit, people will get sick & some goodly number of them will Die as a direct result. It’s all happened before. Again, nothing that was not known more than 100 years ago. I’ve got little paranoia, but a long & a good memory and of course I’m better informed than most.
And I was perhaps a very modestly bitter singleton once a very long time ago, but then I wised up and started searching better. I’ve been happily married ever since, which is almost as long as you’ve been drinking legally I bet. Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’
i think they are raising rates b/c sites like craigslist and myspace and friendster can be just as effective in meeting people (and free) .. and not as much of a single anxiety pressure cooker as jdate
however, you would feel like shit thinking that the cheap jew in you kept you from meeting the bashert of your dreams if he was on jdate
either way is justified imho. you can always just login if you are no longer a paying member and wait for someone to IM you?
i hope the jdate owners are reading this — trying to think of more creative ways to get money, wringing their hands like the mr burns of the online jewish dating scene
I met my husband’s best friend on KosherStars.
KosherStars is free.
(the best friend introduced me to my husband, so yes there is a relationship between KosherStars and meeting my husband.)
And btw, for a long time, I subscribed to the theory of “go out on a single date with pretty much anyone.” I’m glad I did. My husband and I are NOT a match on paper. But in reality, we’re pretty happy together.
I don’t typically run around advertising in blog comments, however I do run TwentyfourSix.com a completely FREE Jewish dating, perhaps the largest at this point considering there aren’t any other truly free sites. We have thousands of members, and have helped numerous people get married, find dates, roommates, and generally meet.
Wow, so much bitterness and anger. Some of you guys really need to lighten up, and I mean that in a caring but bluntly
I’m still single and a 39 yo female in the SF Bay Area. You’d think with all the “extra” men around I could find someone decent, but let me tell ya (as if you need me to tell you), quantity does not equal quality. I’ve also found dating – online or otherwise – is frustrating, depressing, boring, infuriating, and that’s even though I haven’t met a real schmuck in a very long time. When I got a bad attitude, I checked out of the scene to refresh a bit. Boy was I glad. I’m seeing someone I met online, and *what* a mensch. That’s all I really care about. I don’t need a big wage earner or a superstar.
My other discovery: your profile is crucial. If you wrote it while you were mad, depressed, jilted, or feeling bad about yourself, that will show through in your profile. The pictures you choose will be less flattering, what you write will not show off your best qualities. The difference between the types of men I got dates with the first time around – right after a really painful breakup – and this time around was like black and white. I have yet to meet an a**hole this time around – plenty of people who were totally incompatible, mind you – but no a**holes. Not the case last time.
The service you pick doesn’t really matter either – except in how well it filters through people you want to be with. Go through profiles and if you’re seeing a lot of people you think you’d like, go for it. Also I haven’t limited myself to just one service. This is my future – it’s worth the investment of time and money if need be. Online dating sites are nothing but an introduction service. If you’re not getting dates, meeting decent people, don’t even worry about that, just drop the service and find another one. The point is to keep meeting people.
I have used jdate off and on. Off, right now….since my membership just expired.
No $40 a month for me. 
Here are some Jdate is good for:
You can look up single jewish people you know. In this area, many people have profiles even if they no longer pay. Really. An age and an idea where they live…and bam! I went on 4 dates with a girl before realizing she had a jdate profile.
Jdate has parties where you meet people in person, and they are inexpensive – maybe $15. You don’t have to be a paid member to attend their parties. I much prefer to meet people in person…since I’m a social guy.
——-
Other recommendations for single jews:
Prosinthecity, Hurrydate, and JPN/Thingstodo.com have jewish speeddating.
TDD and Prosinthecity have jewish mixers (parties). Get on jssn.org’s list (their webpage is outdated) and geshercity’s calendar. Oh, YPK has events too.
Oh…and on jdate, you can once again see who sent you mail if you are not a member.
-JFG
JFG, you are wrong, you still cannot read email if you are not a paid member of JDate. I reactivated my profile briefly to see if you were right and those same 2 emails are still in my inbox, and I’m still being prompted to be a paying member to read them. Obviously, I deactivated my profile again since I no longer need JDate, but I was curious to see who sent those unread emails. I guess I will never know, and that is very OK with me!
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I agree tahat u cant read it if u r unpaid. You can however check your real mailbox elsewhere and see WHO emailed you…and then find a way to contact them.
-JFG
I just got auto renewed. mother effers! its christmas so their office isnt open to talk to someone. I do not want this to happen to anyone else.
I wrote in my blog about it and alternatives
http://justsayyes.wordpress.com/2007/12/25/jdate-auto-renew-cancel-right-away/
I made sure to have all the info right there, b/c its pretty hard to find otherwise.
Heres something: use that 40 a month specifically to meet people. if you buy 6 people drinks, you will probably make stronger contacts than you can on jdate. I put other ways too on my site and maybe people can help by giving comments
Hi,
I just stumbled upon this website and the commentary is really funny.
But regardless of religious backround, there is a high % of putzes out there.
Asking why cosmos or martinis cost 11 or 9 or 13 dollars, or about your fertility or standing you up 1x or 2x and then having the nerve to say you have anger for never wanting to talk to them, or at least being mad, similar to your Lincoln Center disaster are examples.
I’m sorry the men of NYC have disappointed. I have experiences this as well. Maybe Try long distance. Maybe people who are forced to really invest in you can warrant some respect.
Match is similarly annoying and retarded in policy of bloodsucking money from all us single gals/guys.
Thanks for all the commentary on this blog. I’d never seen it before and it’s amusing/reassuring to see how many people face the same issues with online dating
I’m a guy, a senior and not that many ladies are out there and if you see them on the site and click on them, they’ve haven’t signed in for several years.. P.S., I’m from L.A.
Some of the profiles that I do read, it’s like they’re looking for a Sugar Daddy, they want to travel, fine dining, etc. We’ll I’m not going to be anyone’s Sugar Daddy. You want to travel, spend some of you X’s monies, same goes for constant fine dining. Also, I don’t want to go out every night, my married friends don’t go out every night what makes you think that you deserve too.
P.S. There’s another site that’s free called “Plenty of Fish”, I’m not going to pay $40.00 a month.
Good Luck