Group therapy in a blog.
What Leslie Mann Can Teach Us
Who? Leslie Mann, who has been in such movies as Big Daddy, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, and the upcoming Knocked Up (with suspectedly single, suspectedly Semitic Seth Rogen).
Mann’s married, and Mann’s man is writer, producer, etc Judd Apatow. But was it love at first sight? Not exactly. Here’s an excerpt from a great interview on ABC.com:
A recurring theme in Apatow’s work is of a geeky guy getting a girl whom he normally wouldn’t be able to get.
“It’s a nerd fantasy,” explained Apatow. “That’s the bad thing about doing a lot of work. Slowly the seams begin to show. … You realize it’s all one idea: pretty ladies like goofy guys. It’s just a fantasy. … But I think that a lot of it comes from the fact that on some level it’s really about wanting people to recognize you for who you are, or take the time to get to know you.”
Actress Leslie Mann, who had a memorable if brief role in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” as “the drunk girl,” has a larger, meatier role in “Knocked Up” as Heigl’s married sister. In real life, she’s married to Apatow, and admits that his recurring theme might have some basis in reality.
“I remember driving in the car with him,” she said, “looking over at him, thinking, ‘This is the kind of guy I should be with. I would never be with him, but this is the kind of guy I should be with.’ And then somehow, we went out again, and he kissed me, and then it was all good after that.”
What I’m hearing? Second chances are good.
Sometimes even 3rd & 4th tries are good too. (This is not to condone the ‘fruitless pursuit’ or stalking either!). This ‘love at first sight’ ideal works mostly for the teen set, and then only for a brief season. It can take awhile to really get to know another ‘real’ adult. Most of the time it can be worth it too for the right person. And yet many folks continually demand this of themselves and all potential dates, ‘does he/she make my pulse race’? Or does he/she look as good as I always expected? Often as not, the answer for these questions is ‘perhaps not at the moment’. And if the answer is always NO to these challenges & questions, then a moment and a possible connection is lost to history, perhaps forever. It’s not just that geeks need love too (they certainly do), but that our ideal for what we are looking for in a mate can and does change & evolve as we age and move through time. That hot body that we all craved into our 20’s & perhaps early 30’s no longer makes it into the top criteria for the potential mate & LTR after our late 30’s. A pleasant face is nice. A ‘hot bod’ by then is something of a specialty that we now might view with some suspicion. Cheers & Shabbat shalom, ‘VJ’
I think the moral of the story is not second chances. I think it’s maturing to the point where you become aware of your own value enough to know the middle part of this quote is simply habit and not necessarily fact. “This is the kind of guy I should be with. I would never be with him, but this is the kind of guy I should be with.’
…it also doesn’t hurt to be a good kisser. And funny. Funny helps too.
One moral may be that certain opposites attract and complement each other. Also the brain can be the sexiest organ (although as Al Bundy said, men rarely think about fondling womens’ heads). Seems that couples with two glamor dolls who love attention often divorce, because they compete and get jealous of each other. No chance of that happening if one of them is a nerd. Also it’s helpful if one spouse can balance the checkbook.
It also helps when the ‘nerd’ you are dating is a funny and successful – soon to be uber-successful – writer/producer/director in hollywood. Regular nerds dont often get the chance.. Though, it generally doesn’t go both ways. That incredible hunky guy rarely ever falls for the cerebral, funny, and conventionally unnatractive nerdy girl. Guys, it seems, arent forgiving over time as women are. You’ll see plenty of really attractive great women, with seemingly nerdy guys (almost all of whom are pretty successful, btw). But not the other way around.
Just my experience and observation.
(BTW, Apatow’s unfortunately cancelled show, Freaks and Geeks, was simply the best..)
I adore Seth Rogan and any project that involves him and Apatow is one I want to watch.
He’s a single Semite, huh? Hmmm…
He’s also Canadian.
I used to not be into nerdy guys, even though I’m a nerdy girl, but in the last few years I have been. When I met my ex I perceived him as just another nerdy desperate Jewish guy- and he lived with his parents. Over a couple of years of speaking with him I learned how brilliant and funny he is and one day it hit me that I was into him. He’s still one of the smartest, funniest people I know- if not THE smartest and funniest – and a good friend.
On the subject of fruitless pursuit/relentless stalking…the object of my desires is back on the market. How do I know this? He has renewed his Match.com subscription, logged back into Jdate, and now he has a brand new page on MySpace. So the question again becomes …do I drop him a note saying “Hi, what’s up” which he knows really means “I’m all happy that the latest in your series of monogamous relationships didn’t work out , yet again, because I still think we are soulmates and someday we’ll be together” or, do I just try to be a sane person and not repeat a behavior that has proven to be ineffective?
To Andrea,
Rogen is indeed a Semite. I knew him when he was a very young kid in Vancouver.
Hello, anyone home? You must be too busy to blog lately.