Is it really this hard to write an accurate profile of yourself that actually says something about you? Here’s a WSJ article about the idea of “personals trainers” (which I think is cute, but unwieldy to say) like my L.A. friend Evan Marc Katz of E-Cyrano.com (although EMK isn’t the focus of this article, and his company is barely mentioned…)

At this point, I’ve written a bunch on the subject of online dating and putrescent profiles, so I’m declaring myself an expert, too. $50 and I’ll give your profile an hour. I’ll not spare your feelings, just give you my gut reaction: boring or ka-ching! And I’ll tell you how to fix it. I’d be doing us all a favor, trust me. (Although if you’re reading this and nodding, your profile may already be fine…)

Maybe I should form a mega company, with all the people I’ve written about in my column in the New York Jewish Week. First, I’ll form a national focus group of all the people I met at March’s UJC Young Leadership conference in DC, to deliberate all things single and Jewish. Evan could hold round-the-clock workshops and revise people’s profiles…Blaire could be the resident love coach, who will attend singles events and tell awkward singles how to get over their nerves…and Adam Mesh could be our celebrity spokesperson.

I’d also enlist experts on other aspects of dating and relationships: my non-Jewish now-friend on navigating interfaith relationships, writer Cindy Chupack on what’s so funny about romance, and then, yo, I’d flow one of my stone cold rhymes, freestyle y’all, ’cause I’m the original Jewish love poet, dawg–don’t be hatin’ my flow. Word. EDK out.