Group therapy in a blog.
JDA Presents: Video Vault
A new (hopefully regular) feature here at JDA, in which we look at dating- and relationship-related videos and discuss them in an open (hopefully constructive) manner.
To kick off the series, here’s Mr. Lonely–a perfectly nice-looking Jewish guy wearing a sign that proclaims his desperation for a date, “TONIGHT!” Discussion topics after the jump.
Really? I mean does this guy need the sign? And where is he looking?
Esther’s Assessment: The secret is “location, location, location.” He needs to relocate this campaign to the Upper West Side, and he’ll have ten dates set up before he can say “JDate.”
Questions for discussion:
1. Do “stunty” techniques have a positive or negative effect on one’s dating life?
2. If someone says he (or she) is available, how do you know if he (or she) is truly available?
3. Your question here.
I think it was his shoes…
To answer your twitter question, uh no. I wouldn’t date this guy. Besides the fact that he’s not my type, I also do not like his hair or the cut of his suit. I can just imagine what his shoes look like.
as a marketer, i didn’t like the lack of a “CTA”, call to action. Where’s the URL/Twitter/Phone, etc. to follow up w/him (since it is possible that some girls may not want to be seen as “so desperate” that they would approach this guy on the street…but they might call him later)
the desperate approach doesn’t work. i went to a JCC book reading last week, and this one guy who could have been Woody Allen’s long lost twin kept trying to strike up conversations with every woman there (myself included). and as usual, none of these women were interested. he was clearly the nebbish type, and most women aren’t into that. he was also older than me by a good 15-20 years (i’m in my mid-20’s) and it was apparent that i had nothing in common with this guy other than we were both Jewish. after i met the author (Scott Shay, who delivered a great talk about revitalizing American Jewry and shared a lot of my feelings on the community being more welcoming to EVERYONE), i exited the building and noticed Weirdo Nebbish Guy following me on my way to the subway. i pulled my phone out and pretended as if i was talking on it, then folded it up. he stopped me and asked if we could exchange numbers. i had two options at that point: pretend to be married, or be brutally honest and tell him that we have nothing in common and that his desperation was pathetic. i went with the former, because i’m nice.
A nice experiment in ritual humiliation. If he was ‘serious’ he’d get a facebook page or have a URL/Hotmail account listed. Or cards he could have passed out, right? (Perhaps not much of a ‘transactional difference’, but who knows, we’ve not run the experiment!) Esther’s comment on location is also telling. Perhaps he’d be getting no action from gals his age on the UWS, but the mommas would still be swarming all over him, OK? So it was some sort of ritual humiliation. For some perverted reasons, we don’t know probably. But it’s obvious that he/They(?) succeed in the quest here. Everyone is repulsed by what to all the world looks like a nice, reasonably tall and well built, Decent Looking Jewish guy. Bravo! No Woody Allen look alikes, just someone who might be working down on Wall St. How Disgusting, right? So very outre! Now reverse the image a bit. Would a woman ever do this? Would she be getting all the catty comments? Some of the guys would be stopping no doubt. Perhaps even the cops if she was not too careful.
But yeah. What this says to most guys is, ‘Why bother trying?’ ‘I don’t look half as good in such a swell a suit (that I can’t afford), barely clean up as nicely, and I don’t own shoes like that!’ Ladies & gents what the clip is telling us is that this is supposedly the AB team looks wise. The good guys. And he’s still being laughed at and humiliated. It’s good to see good looking Jewish guys being ritually humiliated. This is where comedy begins. Real life is a bit different we hope. Right? [Crickets…] Cheers, ‘VJ’
Further investigation reveals that this sort of organized ritual humiliation Does have a definite commercial purpose, as in to Promote JDate. Hence it’s zaniness. Going back to the source on YouTube does happily reveal several ladies (some Jewish, some not) who Did express an obvious interest in the guy, and Did think that he looked good. So an obvious sight gag, ancient though it may be, in order to drum up business. Which is not an uncommon sort of idea, but it was obvious that the vid had a point, I just neglected to fully read the lead in from Esther. But yeah, if he was really serious, there would have been at least a contact number. And I’m convinced that someone would have written it down and given him a call. But it does play on everyone’s fears, in equal proportion as a selling point. (Gals: ‘You’re missing all the Great Guys, just like this one! Use our service to find More great guys!) Guys: ‘Look how hard it is even for this mensch! You need our help to connect with More gals!) Jewish guilt meets marketing opportunity! In America we know this as a ‘license to print money’. Really. Geesh, I’m glad I’m not in the market right now! Cheers, ‘VJ’
this guy looks like a stud. i’m surprised he cant get a date.