Anyone who’s involved in today’s tech age and is conversant in the zeitgeist of social media surely already realizes that Facebook has changed almost everything about the way people–most of them younger, but with a growing older population–relate to each other. (See “Status Symbol,” here.) Joining the program late (because if you get to a trend after the Jewish Week does, let’s face it, you’re late) is CNN, which has suddenly discovered that relationships are different in the age of Facebook.

Matt Pestinger, 18, started his group, “Your relationship doesn’t count unless it’s posted on Facebook,” as a commentary on today’s world, he said in an e-mail. “I decided to start this group to point out what our world has come to and it cracks me up,” the University of Oklahoma freshman said. His group has 468 members. “People love the group,” he said. “One thing everyone says is, ‘That’s hilarious and true.'”

A very apt social commentary. This is what it takes these days. But I’d take it further. Nothing is real until it’s on Facebook. That’s why this year’s April Fool’s Joke worked…but that’s another discussion.

Samantha Majka wants to let people know a little more about her relationship. Majka, 18, is a sophomore at Towson University in Towson, Maryland. She created the online group “Facebook relationship status options are insufficient.” The group, which has nearly 2,000 members, boasts ideas for Facebook to add to its lists of options for relationships. Some of the ideas are “Has [insert name] wrapped around his/her finger,” “Is seeing […] but sssh don’t tell” and “Is trying to figure out a way to break up with […]”

Whoa. Can you imagine logging into Facebook and perusing your status feed, only to find that your boyfriend, Josh (or something), is “trying to figure out a way to break up with [insert your name here]”? But that other one–“is seeing [….] but sssh don’t tell”–in addition to really needing a comma and perhaps one less s and one more h, is completely pointless. I mean, the nature of Facebook is to broadcast, to shout to everyone, even people you don’t know that well (or at all), “look what I’m doing!!” Adding “shh, it’s a secret” doesn’t keep it a secret. It’s already out there and people are not that disciplined.

So if you think you’re in a relationship, think again. There are all levels of declaration of intent and promises of permanence when it comes to defining yourself in relation to other people; so be wary of what you share with whom. And if you don’t know where you are, check your status.