Group therapy in a blog.
How to Know If He Likes You
from http://commadotcomma.net
My friend J is funny, smart and sassy, and gets a lot of attention from men. During a recent conversation, I was relating the latest in a string of men whose interest (with a small i) I had mistaken for Interest (the capitalized “Interest” to indicate not just liking someone, but like-liking someone – this is part of the complex language of dating). Then she reminded me of her foolproof way to know if a guy likes her “as more than a friend.”
“You know how to know if a guy likes you? He asks you out.”
This is very simple advice, perhaps brilliantly simple. But I’m not convinced it’s always true. Just like women can be shy around guys they like, couldn’t the same be true for guys? Aren’t there men who need the encouragement in advance, to bolster their confidence that, if they ask, they’re assured a ‘yes’? Or should we assume – a la “He’s Just Not That Into You” – that if he hasn’t asked you out by now, he’s not going to?
I turn this question over to you, the JDA audience, for discussion. Remember: be respectful in the discussion, and generally excellent to one another. Thank you…
Sweet and short answer, but I guess it is quite logic, if he did not like you why would he waste his tome asking you out.
I’d guess I’d pose the opposite idea, you know he likes you if you ask him out and he says yes. That’s why you ask people out.
I never understood friends who said things like, “Oh my god, such and such asked me out. Can’t he [or she] tell I was just being nice?”. Well, maybe not. That’s why they asked you out so they could find that information out.
I’ve asked out many women and been rejected quite a few times, and accepted quite a few times. Part of life.
lately i’ve been learning about different friends who had crushes or even as one confessed yesterday “infatuation” with me but remained silent about it. i think this goes to show that just because someone isn’t asking you doesn’t mean that they aren’t into you.
I have several guy friends who get shy, nervous, or insecure and want a sign from a woman before asking her out. Certainly this debunks the “he’s just not into you” theory which btw, that book really messed w my head. sometimes guys need reassurance too, not all of them are hunters like the author.
I hear you on this issue, Sara. But there’s a point in the still-not-asking-you-out discovery stage of the relationship at which you have to ask yourself how much energy you may be devoting to someone who may not be that into you. Assessing that may cause you to re-prioritize a bit…because none of us can or should wait around forever for someone whose intentions aren’t clear.
if someone didn’t like you, they wouldn’t ask you out… seems simple enough. on the other hand, some people do these things just to be nice even if they have zero interest in the other person. it’s better to be honest and appreciate someone’s interest but gently let them down rather than string them along on a few dates and get their hopes up for a potential relationship.
As a 31 year old man in NYC, I often ask women out for first dates or second date that I don’t really “like” in the relationship sense of the word. Oftentimes, I’ll ask a woman out merely b/c I’m interested in seeing her undressed lying on my bed. I hate saying this but it’s true, at least for me.
Hey, if he doesn’t like you, there are plentyofjews.net over here!
If you have to wonder what’s going on, nothing is going on. It’s really that simple.