Group therapy in a blog.
IS INTERNET DATING BUBBLE SPRINGING A LEAK?
E-Dating Bubble Springs a Leak
From Sunday’s New York Times:
While most women interviewed complained that too many men just “window shop” online and are unwilling to consider any but the prettiest faces, Zev Guttman, 28, a mortgage banker in Monsey, N.Y., said it was men who are at a disadvantage online: it is still typically the man who has to make the first move, and it is still the woman who gets to pick and choose.
As a result, he said, he either had to lie  about, say, the fact that he is divorced  or face an empty mailbox every day. “If I write that I’m divorced, I don’t have a chance of hooking up,” he said. “If I write that I’m single, they’re not interested because they think I lied to them” once they discover the truth.
“I’m just going to go back to matchmaking, or friends,” he said.
JDaters Anonymous readers, weigh in:
Would you rule out dating someone who is divorced?
If you dated someone who said that s/he had never been married and then revealed that s/he was divorced, would you break up with him/her because s/he lied?
Do you think men are more superficial than women (i.e., likely to reject a woman based solely on her looks)?
>Would you rule out dating someone who is divorced?
No. But I would rule out dating a man who is divorced with several little kids. A widower with kids is fine.
>If you dated someone who said that s/he had never been >married and then revealed that s/he was divorced, >would you break up with him/her because s/he lied?
Yes.
>Do you think men are more superficial than women >(i.e., likely to reject a woman based solely on her looks)?
I think women are just as, or at least almost, as likely to reject a man from a dating website based on looks. It’s so easy to hit the “no” button. But once people have met in person, a man is MUCH more likely to reject a woman based on looks.
Dating someone divorced from a starter marrige is OK (Lasted less than 5 years, no kids). Dating someone divorced with kids- NO. My parents are divorced. I’ve been that kid. Don’t want to do it to someone else’s.
I went out with a Jdate once who claimed to be divorced. It turns out that they’d separated four weeks earlier but weren’t divorced at all. There were clues… only giving me his cell phone number, only being available during lunch or between the weekday hours of 4-7 p.m. And, paying in cash for dinner at the Olive Garden (plus the two-for-one coupon!) Feh! Kaka!!
A) I would consider dating a divorced guy. I do not exclude “divorced” when I am checking buttons.
B) I’d probably break up with a guy that lied. Plus, this guy sounds like a whiner in general.
C) Women would be more superficial than men if 1) jdate put up male model pics the way they put up female model pics and 2) there were more men available. However, I don’t think we have a chance to be more superficial. And if we did have a chance, the most we would do is tie. Women are a lot more interested in money.