Group therapy in a blog.
Being Single is a Draw
I always said that you could find a magazine quote to support any position…and if anyone doubted your methods or the opinion’s validity, you could always say, “Oh, it’s true, I read it in a magazine,” because even if you hadn’t, it was probable that you could have. Nowadays, it’s all about the internet, of course, with new magazines and webwire services launching daily, and with a steady stream of surveys that prove pretty much anything.
Well, you’ll be happy to know that being single has its pros and cons. For instance, depressed people who walk down the aisle experience alleviation of their depression. Unless, of course, they marry the wrong person and experience a post-wedding life of conflict and unhappiness. As the article says, “People who were happy before getting married and end up in a marriage plagued by distance or conflict — qualities associated with a depressed spouse — might be better off single.” (Ya think?)
But, married people, on average, are fatter [typos from the original survey, which calls into question its veracity…].
One reason could be that married people have more relaxed attitudes in terms of body image, whereas singles may view themselves as part of the “marriage market” and will go to greater lengths to say fit, says Robyn McGee author of Hungry for More: A Keeping it Real Guide for Black Women on Weight and Body Image.
A study by the University of California, San Diego and the University of California, Los Angeles professors found that out of 67,000 Americans, those who never married tended to die earlier than those who were divorced, separated or widowed.
And on the other hand, being married is no guarantee for longevity… married women who hold back on expressing their feelings also die younger than women who express their emotions:
Women who reported usually or always keeping their feelings to themselves when in conflict with their husbands, known as self-silencing, had more than four times the risk of dying from any cause compared to women who always show their feelings, the researchers said.
And of course, there’s the old joke. Married people live about as long as single people; it just feels like it’s longer.
But I know these are all true. Don’t believe me? I read it in an online magazine. Or five.
A QUOTE FROM THE STORY:
The benefits of marriage for the depressed are particularly dramatic, a finding that surprised the professor-student team behind the study.
“We actually found the opposite of what we expected,†said Adrianne Frech, a PhD sociology student at Ohio State University.
NEWSFLASH: Having a great guy in your life makes you happier!!!!! This is a no brainer that hardly takes scientific research to figure out. I am stunned that they are surprised.
About 20 years ago there was a wonderful piece in Harper’s about this. They postulated that people were more likely to get married at a low point in their lives. There’s also research showing people get married when they suffer are profound losses, like a parent’s death.
Don’t forget the old Jackie Mason classic: “Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to!”