Whether you’re on the Upper West Side or not, you might enjoy these pieces “from the vault.”

What’s it like inside a Sukkah singles party in Manhattan? Back in 2005, yours truly and some intrepid friends found out. Listen in:

Man: Did you notice JDate’s site redesign? All of the women’s profiles defaulted to “does not want children.”
Woman #3: You’re the third guy to mention that tonight. As if Jewish continuity didn’t have enough problems—now everyone thinks that Jewish women don’t want to procreate. In JDate’s last redesign, they reset all the profiles, so if you said you spoke Hebrew, it now said you spoke Vietnamese. Or Tagalog. What is Tagalog, anyway?
Man: [fiddles with BlackBerry] “Tagalog is one of the major languages of the Philippines.”
Woman #2: Huh. At least we learned something.
Woman #3: Yes, that JDate is still JDate.

For the complete scoop, check out the original article.

What should you expect to see on Simchat Torah on the Upper West Side? Here’s a checklist of 20 “might-sees” – print it out, and see how you score! Including…

3. Israelis on cell phones.

4. A blind date who doesn’t remember you.

5. People you knew in high school who ignore you when they see you.

6. A throng.

7. A thong. Or inappropriate shul cleavage.

Check out the full list here.