Group therapy in a blog.
VOICING A SINGLE ISSUE
Here’s a link to a special supplement that was written and placed by the Orthodox Caucus in last week’s issue of The Jewish Week.* I admit, I thought it was going to be “one of those supplements,” the ones that are propaganda veiled as a plea for funding. But it’s not. It actually accurately portrays many of the issue facing Jewish singles of any level of observance.
Of particular interest to me were all the “Anonymous” entries, where “real singles” wrote in about how being single and Orthodox makes them feel. See also Michele Herenstein’s piece on going home for the Jewish holidays…she basically describes what will be my situation later this week as I go home for Sukkot (my brothers are both married, also). And Sylvia Barack Fishman’s piece on “Dating a Commodity,” in which she says that the “widespread habit of evaluating single men and women with an accountant’s eye as marital merchandise is both demoralizing and dehumanizing…”
There’s more. Definitely worth a read. Check it out. And feel free to discuss it here. Or amongst yourselves. No big whoop.
*Save your indignation: I’m not in it because I’m not, strictly speaking, Orthodox.
I actually read it cover-to-cover over the weekend. It made me realize how lucky I am that my “horror stories” don’t seem to hold a candle to some of what others have gone through.
that being said, I am concerned that there is a little too much overanalysis going on here. If we are all focused on how to “deal with” Singles and the “Singles issue” are we exacerbating the problem? To me, it’s a little like large companies who have seminars for executives on “Women in the Workplace” and “Diversity”. If you are singling out a specific group, and clarifying that you should treat them with respect and the same way you treat other people that are not part of that group, then by definition, aren’t you treating them differently? Is identifying a Singles Crisis and telling people how to act (or not act) on dates making things less natural and more stilted? just a thought from someone who’s back on the market for a year after five years away.